"SIYAHAMBA'S ASTRONOMY LESSON, or THE OTHER MILKY WAY" by ROB CAT (a.k.a. Jed G. Martinez) It was a warm, sunny summer day, as Siyahamba slowly walked up the pathway towards Rob Cat's bungalow. "I wonder why Rob wanted me to come here," the extra-large leopard thought to himself. "He sounded quite insistent over the phone this morning. I'm sure he has a logical reason." It was already early afternoon when Siyahamba arrived in Rob's area. He might have got there much sooner, had he not spent half the morning consuming a huge breakfast (consisting of three dozen eggs, several slabs of ham and bacon, half a loaf of bread [toasted, of course] with butter smeared over it all, and half a gallon of coffee [with cream and sugar]). And the weather was so pleasant, he chose to walk all the way to the far edge of town, instead of taking a bus or a taxicab to Rob's place. Of course, it took the big cat a lot longer to walk that great distance (having to lug his giant abdomen, with that equally giant breakfast inside of it), and the lack of clothing on his person did make it easier for him to move around (as slow as his gait was), but he'd felt sure that Rob would understand the reason for his tardiness... As he approached the bungalow, his belly touched the door first. Leaning his upper torso over, Siyahamba rang the doorbell and waited... but there was no answer. Again, he leaned forward and rang the doorbell... and again, there was no response. "Hmmm," thought the leopard, "Maybe Rob isn't home at all... but I don't think he'd ask me to come all this way to his place, if he wasn't here. I'll give the doorbell one more ring." As Siyahamba was about to do so, a voice shouted out to him from around the corner of the bungalow... "There you are! I'd been waiting all morning for you!" Siyahamba turned his head to the left, and saw Rob Cat's head peeking out from the side of the building, with a big grin on his face. "Come on around to the backyard," he'd said, "and I'll explain why I'd asked for you." And with that, Rob's head disappeared. "Well," thought Siyahamba, "I'd walked all this way over; a couple of yards more won't hurt." And the massive cat slowly made his way to the other side of the bungalow... - - - - - - - - - - The afternoon sun shined down on the two feline figures in the backyard, as Rob (a slightly chunky bobcat, wearing a plain white T-shirt and dungarees) explained to Siyahamba why he'd asked for his presence... "You see," said Rob, "my little niece Cora is spending some of her summer vacation with me... and, as of right now, she's taking up 'space'..." "You mean she's starting to get as fat as I am?" asked Siyahamba, jokingly. Rob, getting the joke, said, "Perhaps I should rephrase that. What I mean is, Cora is taking up 'astronomy' - the study of all things in 'outer space'." Siyahamba understood and nodded. "This fall, she's taking a science course in school, and to help influence her decision of what sort of science she could be learning, her father recently gave her a telescope for her birthday." "This all sounds quite fascinating," said Siyahamba, "but what has this got to do with me?" "I'll be needing your assistance in teaching Cora about some of the facets of 'astronomy'." "But I'm not that knowledgable on the subject," replied Siyahamba. "The last time I did any sort of star-gazing was when I was a cub back on the savannah..." "Trust me," Rob stated. "Your help to me will be almost invaluable. And you'll be well-rewarded, too." "Well," thought the leopard, "it seems rather odd to be teaching her all about stars, moons and planets right now, in the middle of the day, when they all come out at night... What sort of 'help' do you need from me at this time?" "I'd like you to act as a sort of 'visual aid'..." "What?!" shouted Siyahamba, cutting Rob off in mid-sentence. "Let me explain," the bobcat resumed, calming the extra-large leopard down. "The spots on your back resemble the pattern of stars in the sky, and I could easily explain to Cora why that is so, among other astronomical phenomenon..." "Well, you're a spotted cat, too," Siyahamba pointed out to Rob. "Why couldn't you use the spots on YOUR back instead of mine?" "Because," Rob replied, "I can't be both the teacher and the 'visual aid' at the same time. Besides, you have more spots than I do, and it will prove to be quite beneficial in my explanations about the universe." "And I'll be rewarded for my assistance?" "Well-rewarded, yes." "Okay, Rob. I'll play along with your little teaching game... but can't we do this indoors? It's starting to get a little bit warmer out here." "Nonsense. It's a beautiful day for learning out-of-doors... Which reminds me; let me get our pupil out here right now... Oh, Cora!" As Rob called her name out, a little female bobcat cub - half the height of her uncle - came out through the back door of the bungalow. She wore a bright pink pantsuit and a yellow ribbon (tied in a bow) on her head. And in her hands was a box containing a variety of 'props' that Rob asked her to bring outside. "You called, Uncle Rob?" "Yes, I did. This is Siyahamba, who will be helping us out with your science lesson... and I see you'd brought the necessary equipment I'll be needing, too. Good girl... Let the class begin!" - - - - - - - - - - The sun was already at its apex, over the backyard, as Rob and Siyahamba began to teach Cora all about 'astronomy'. Rob turned to Siyahamba, and asked, "What do you recall about seeing stars in your youth?" "Well," thought the leopard, "when I was a cub, living on the savannah, I'd remember lying down on my back on quiet nights, looking up in the sky, and seeing all those little specks of light - some of which looked like they were twinkling. Those were wonderful days." "Well, you'd never guess," said Rob, "that all those 'twinkling lights' were actually stars - millions and billions of miles away from Earth." Turning to Cora, he continued, "A star is a giant ball of gas... and there are thousands of stars up in the sky - many that can be seen by the naked eye, and many more that can't be seen without a telescope..." "You mean, like the telescope Daddy got me?" asked Cora. "Exactly," replied Rob. "We'll get to see some of those stars with your telescope, later on tonight... but, for now, let's imagine that we can see the whole universe in the middle of the day..." He then motioned Siyahamba to turn around, and sit down on the grass. Slowly, the giant cat lowered his massive bulk onto the ground, as Cora stared in disbelief over the number of spots on his broad back. "Wow!" exclaimed Cora. "There must be as many spots on him as there are stars in the sky!" "Not quite," explained Rob Cat. "As large as his body is, Siyahamba still has a limit to what can be there... so, the number of spots on his back is 'finite'. But, since the universe itself has no beginning, middle, or end, the number of stars there is 'infinite'." Siyahamba chuckled to himself, at the idea of being compared to a 'finite universe'. "Now," Rob continued, "we're going to pretend that this is a map of the known universe." "But that's not what the universe looks like," interrupted Cora. "I don't see any spots... er, stars forming constellations like 'The Big Dipper'..." "That's true," said Rob. "But let's imagine, if you will, that we are beings living on another planet on the other side of the universe. From where we are there, the pattern of stars in the sky would be completely different... Right?" "I guess so," Cora admitted. "Well, then," Rob resumed, "the stars that form this part of the galaxy are also giant balls of gas that are also millions and billions of miles away from our 'planet'..." Reaching into the box of 'props', Rob produced a long wooden pointer with a rubber tip at the end, and began pointing out some of the spots on Siyahamba's back. "...and yet, you'd never guess that, as close as these stars appear next to one another, they, themselves, are also millions and billions of miles apart." Sliding the pointer across Siyahamba's back, the leopard's immense body slowly vibrated from laughter. "Hey, watch it with that thing! I'm very ticklish!" he giggled. "Sorry about that," the bobcat told the leopard. Turning to Cora, he continued his lecture... "Now, if you will kindly remove the sheet of blue dot stickers from the box, Cora, I will ask you to pick a particular spot on my friend's body, and place a sticker upon it..." Siyahamba turned his head. "Huh?!" "Relax," Rob consoled his obese buddy. "The stickers aren't THAT adhesive... they can easily be removed, without taking off any of your fur." "Whew!" Relieved, Siyahamba turned his head, facing forward again. Cora approached the leopard's gigantic body, being careful not to step on his tail. Picking a spot in the middle of his back, she applied the blue dot sticker over it. "Now," said Rob, "pick a spot right next to it, and place another blue dot sticker over that one." Following her uncle's instructions, the bobcat cub place a sticker over a spot to the right of the first sticker. "Now, if you'll get me that 'measuring device' from the box, we can see how far apart these two 'stars' really are..." Cora returned to the box, and pulled out a tailor's measuring tape. Approaching the leopard's back again, she placed the tape over the two blue dot stickers. "They're one inch apart," she informed her uncle. "Yes, they are one inch apart," Rob stated, "...if they were spots on a leopard. But, since they are 'stars in the sky', they are definitely MORE than one inch apart from each other. Let us pretend further, that one inch on this tape measure is, in fact, a very large distance apart in deep space called a 'light-year'..." "A light-year?" questioned Siyahamba. "Yes, a light-year. That's the distance light travels from one part of the galaxy to another in one Earth year. And since we all know that the universe is 'infinite', there must be millions and billions of light-years in all directions! "Now, Cora, if you'll hand me those other sheets of colored dot stickers, I'm going to choose two 'stars' at random, myself." Taking a red dot sticker, Rob placed it upon a spot on Siyahamba's left hip (on the outskirts of his white belly fur). Then, Rob took a green dot sticker and placed it upon a spot on the leopard's right hip. Able to look down and see each of the added stickers on his body, Siyahamba looked at Rob and retorted, "Red on my left side, and green on my right? What do you think I am? Some sort of aircraft?!" It was quite a temptation for Rob to utter some sort of an 'aircraft joke', comparing the copious cat to a blimp or something like that; but he kept his composure, and resumed the lesson. "If you will take one end of the measuring tape, Cora, and I'll hold on to the other..." Cora complied, as she stretched the tape across Siyahamba's back. Rob lowered his end of the tape to the red dot sticker, while Cora lowered her end of the tape (with inches to spare) over the green dot sticker. "What's the number over that 'star'?" Rob asked his niece. "Forty-five!" she replied. "So, the distance between those two 'stars' is about forty-five 'light-years'..." "I hate to interrupt this interesting discussion," Siyahamba butted in, "but it is getting a bit stifling out here. Can't we continue these lessons indoors? And besides that, it's well past my lunchtime, and I'm really getting quite hungry..." "Don't worry," said Rob. "We'll be taking a break shortly. Just be patient." Siyahamba sighed in resignation, as Rob continued the 'astronomy' lesson... - - - - - - - - - - For one whole hour, Rob explained to Cora everything he knew about the universe, with poor Siyahamba sitting out in the afternoon sun, sweating profusely, as he listened to every word the adult bobcat was saying. "All stars, planets, and moons in the universe are in constant motion at all times," said Rob, as he points to the spots Siyahamba's back. "Even these 'stars' weren't always where they are now..." "What do you mean?" asked an inquisitive Cora. "Well, millions and billions of years ago, all these stars were closer together. Let's pretend that the day Siyahamba was born, was also the day the universe got started... "In fact, on the day he was born, there weren't thousands of spots on his back, but one gigantic spot!" "Now, this is getting ridiculous!" Siyahamba thought to himself. "On the very first second of the very first minute of the very first hour of the very first day of Siyahamba's existance, that giant spot split apart into millions of smaller spots, travelling in all directions on his back. In that same way, the stars in our known universe started off as one tremendous celestrial body that split apart in all directions, too. Scientists and astronomers who believe in this concept refer to it as 'The Big Bang Theory'. And, over the course of thousands and millions and billions of years, the stars above have spread further and further apart from one another, as these same scientists and astronomers also believed that the universe is still expanding..." Eyes gazed at her uncle, Cora hangs on every word that Rob speaks. Using the pointer on the leopard's back (being careful not to tickle him again), the bobcat concluded, "This represents the universe of the present, and all the 'stars' you can see now are much further apart than they were in the past... And it is believed that the universe will continue to expand, millions of years into the future..." The 'astronomy lesson' was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a car horn, blasting from the front of Rob's bungalow. A fiendish grin came over the bobcat's face when he'd heard it, as he turned to his niece and said, "Cora. Run inside and get some towels for my friend here. I'll be right back..." Siyahamba was curious as to why Rob ran out of the backyard in such a hurry... with that strange look on his face. - - - - - - - - - - A rather muscular gorilla in a white uniform and cap was standing outside of his vehicle, with a large clipboard in his hand. Rob ran up to him and said, "Boy, your timing is perfect!" "Never mind that!" the gorilla snapped back. "Are you the guy who'd placed this order?" Looking down at the document on the clipboard, Rob looked straight at the primate's snarling face, and calmly replied, "I did indeed." "I suppose you'll want me to bring THIS inside your home? I just hope you have a large enough fridge to store it all..." "That won't be necessary. All I'll ask of you is that you bring this around to my backyard..." "Is that where the fridge is?" "No, that's where my friend is!" "Are you nuts?! Without refrigeration, this stuff will spoil in over an hour!" "You let me worry about that. All I'm asking of you is to bring this behind my bungalow..." "Fine," said the gorilla. "Sign right here." Handed a pen, Rob put his signature at the bottom of the document on the clipboard. "Will you need a hand carrying this?" the bobcat politely asked. "Nah! I've lifted twice my body weight in merchandise before." "Very well, then. I'll meet you in the backyard." And with that, Rob departed for the back of the bungalow. Climbing into his vehicle, the gorilla eventually emerged with an usually large metallic container... one that would normally take three smaller individuals to lift. To him, it was light as a feather. As he walked around the corner, towards the backyard, the gorilla confronted the sight of a rather large and portly leopard, sitting on the grass - as the two bobcats were wiping the perspiration off of his body with some towels. Putting two-and-two together, the gorilla realized why Rob wasn't going to need a refrigerator, after all. Placing the giant cylindrical container down in front of Siyahamba, the gorilla tipped his white cap, said, "Have a nice day!" and left, chuckling. "Who was that?" asked the leopard. "That was my delivery person from the local dairy," replied Rob. "He's just here to make sure my order was filled." "You mean?..." asked Siyahamba. "Yes," Rob said. "It's 'break time'. Ah, Cora, would you get me those three ladles from my kitchen?" "Sure thing, Uncle Rob!" Cora replied with glee, as she ran into the bungalow. Pointing at the container, Siyahamba turned to Rob and said, "That's one of those giant milk cans from dairy farms! It must hold about eight- to-ten gallons of milk!..." "About twenty gallons, actually," Rob corrected him, "and it's not full of milk, either." "You don't mean?..." Rob's grin grew even wider. "I'd told you you'd be well-rewarded for your assistance!" Despite his bulky size, the leopard was able to get his lumbering body upright, as he stepped towards the giant milk can and removed the large circular top off of it. Looking down into it, his nose took in the aroma, and savored every sniff. "Pure cream!" he'd sighed in ecstasy. "The purest," Rob emphasized. Cora returned with three ladles of various sizes. "Let the little lady go first," Rob asked Siyahamba. "After all, she's the one who hopes to become an 'astronomer' when she grows up." "Of course," said Siyahamba, as he dipped the smallest ladle into the can, and passed it over to the juvenile bobcat. Cora couldn't wait to take a sip of the cream, either... and enjoyed tasting every drop. "Let me tell you all about the 'Big Dipper'," said Rob, holding up his ladle, then pointed to Cora's smaller vessel, "and the 'Little Dipper', too." Siyahamba took all this data in stride, as the three cats took turns with their own respective ladles, gulping down the cream from the giant milk can... - - - - - - - - - - Twenty-five minutes later, Rob and Cora had stopped drinking their share of the cream. "Whoa! I'm full!" said Cora, patting her tummy (with an ever-so-slight bulge in it). "Me, too," replied Rob, whose stomach (now poking out between his T-shirt and dungarees) had also increased by a number of inches. Siyahamba was still dipping his ladle deep into the can, and downing mouthful after mouthful of his 'reward'. "This is taking too long," the leopard complained. "You're quite right," said Rob, sizing up the situation. "If you'll allow us to assist you..." Since the milk can was now half-empty (or, in the case of a very confident Siyahamba, half-full), the two bobcats were able to raise it up to the leopard's mouth. Grabbing onto the top of the can with his forepaws, Siyahamba aided the two in tilting it towards his gaping oral opening. "Tilt it slowly, dear," Rob instructed Cora. "We don't want any cream to spill." As pint after pint, quart after quart, gallon after gallon of the cream passed down Siyahamba's gullet, his already-expansive belly grew larger and larger... with an occasional 'gurgle' emanating from within. Ten minutes later, the milk can was finally emptied, and cream inside was nothing more than a memory. A thoroughly-sated Siyahamba licked the leftover cream from his face and said, "Whew! Now that WAS worth a walk from the other side of town!" He then unleashed a very audible BURP! "Look, Uncle Rob," exclaimed Cora, "he must be a 'star' now... He's turned into a 'giant ball of gas'!" The two grown-up cats laughed at her 'off-the-cuff' remark. "Not that kind of 'ball'," Rob corrected Cora, "and DEFINITELY NOT that kind of 'gas'!" Siyahamba's (now) larger-than-normal body pulsated with hysteria (from the bobcat's comment), while he used one of the towels to wipe the excess cream off of his whiskers. "If you'll kindly be seated again," Rob instructed his rotund assistant, "I will officially wrap up the 'astronomy lesson'." The liquid-filled leopard nearly fell over backwards, upon returning to the ground. Rob was barely able to prop him upright, as he turned to his niece. "Cora... the tape measure, please." Approaching Siyahamba's broad back - now made even broader by all that cream he drank - Cora was instructed by Rob to measure the distance between the two blue dot stickers. "It's now an inch and a half apart," she discovered. "Uh, uh, uh!" Rob was about to correct her. "I mean, one-and-a-half 'light-years'!" "Absolutely right." Then, when the two bobcats tried to measure the distance between the red dot sticker and the green dot sticker (which was originally forty- five inches from one side of the leopard's back to the other), Cora made a shocking discovery... "The tape measure can't even reach to the other spot... er, 'star'!" she cried out. It was true. The measuring tape only went up to sixty inches; but thanks to Siyahamba's enormous appetite, the green dot sticker was nearly half-a-foot beyond the end of the tape! "It must be sixty-five or sixty-six 'light-years' between those two 'stars'," she'd said in astonishment. Rob resumed his 'astronomy lecture'. "We are now pretending that millions of years have passed, and this 'universe' has continued to expand! As you can see, while some 'stars' don't travel as far in distance (like the 'stars' represented by the two blue dot stickers) as others (like the red and green dot stickers), they still ALL move further and further away from the 'starting point'... the 'point of origin'... the 'beginning of the universe'! "Next time, I'll teach you all about constellations, and how some stars form the shapes of animals, like 'Ursa Major the Great Bear' and 'Leo the Lion'..." Cora asked, "Is there a constellation shaped like a giant leopard?" "If there is one," replied Rob Cat, "it will be truly unmistakable!" Siyahamba smiled at the bobcat's complimentary comment. "Hey! You'd better go inside and get your telescope, Cora," said Rob. "The meteorologist on TV said it will be a clear night for star-gazing this evening." "Okay, Uncle Rob," Cora replied, and dashed off into the bungalow to get her birthday present. Turning to his leopard pal, Rob showed his appreciation with a pat on his back (followed by the careful removal of the four dot stickers). "Thanks, Siyahamba. You've been a big help." "Big? Humongous sounds more like it!" As he said this, Siyahamba patted his turgid tummy - which was so taut from all that cream he'd consumed, it undulated like ripples in a small pond. "I'm just glad you were able to assist me in teaching Cora all about the universe..." "My only concern was about all that cream you gave me." "What concern?" "If I'd drunk one more gallon, you'd probably have another 'Big Bang' on your hands!" The two adult cats chuckled. "Why do think I'd conducted this lesson out-of-doors?" explained Rob. "If we'd done this 'expanding universe' experiment indoors, you would've never been able to leave...you couldn't squeeze your way through the door of my bungalow at this point!" The leopard's belly bounced up and down with mirth, at the thought of being stuck in Rob's doorway. The bobcat then asked, "Can I give you a lift home?" "Are you kidding? I'd give you a hernia!" Rob winced at the joke. "You know what I mean! Can I drop you off at your place with my pick-up truck?" "No, that won't be necessary. It's been such a nice summer day, and the cream kind of cooled me off. I think I'll walk home." That, of course, was no easy task. It took Rob a few minutes just to get his bloated friend up on his hind feet again. "Are you sure you'll be able to make it home on your own?" "Sure, I'm sure. Besides, most of the trip is downhill... if I get tired of walking, I can always ROLL the rest of the way!" "Take care, buddy," snickered Rob, as he hugged the leopard around his neck (the only part of the body he can completely reach around). "You, too, Rob", said Siyahamba, as he slowly bent forward and used his forepaws to lift as much of his multi-gallon gut as he can carry. "Uncle Rob!" called Cora. "Could you help me set up my telescope?" Rob turned towards the call of his niece. "Be with you in a moment, honey!" He then turned back, just in time to see Siyahamba slowly walking (or, in this case, waddling) down the same pathway from the bungalow, back towards town. "See you 'round!" yelled Rob Cat, waving to his fat friend. "Is there any other way you'd be seeing me?!" Siyahamba replied jokingly. He didn't dare wave back at Rob, as he didn't want to lose the grip on his cream-filled belly; so, he simply nodded his head, then faced forward, and headed towards town, an audible 'slosh' with every step he'd take... - - - - - - - - - - EPILOGUE: It was close to sunset, and Siyahamba was still nowhere near the halfway point of his journey back home. "Maybe I should've taken Rob up on his offer," he'd thought to himself, "and had him drop me off in his pick-up truck." Carrying the extra weight (from the liquid repast he'd consumed earlier that afternoon) had slowed the enlarged leopard down... Then, he glanced to his right, and saw a small grassy incline, that didn't look too steep to climb. "I suppose I could take a 'short-cut' this way... I just hope I don't end up literally ROLLING down the other side of the hill!" At first, he tried walking forward, but it was hard for him to concentrate on carrying his huge stomach and looking upwards towards the top of the incline at the same time. He'd settled instead on backing up the hill. He'd inched his way up slowly, stopping every so often to crane his head around to see if there were any stones or twigs he might accidentally trip over. Luckily for him, none were in sight. By the time Siyahamba reached the top of the grassy incline, the sun was just about to disappear beyond the horizon, and the lights of some of the houses in the town below began to illuminate. As he turned his entire bulk around, preparing for the descent on the other side of the hill, something caught his eye. He looked up, and saw in the cloudless sky a very bright star... then, another star equal in brightness to the first one... then, another star, and another, and another... All of a sudden, a series of memories flashed through his mind - the most notable of which was of his days back in the savannah as a cub, on those quiet evenings, when he used to lie on his back and look up at the stars. Swept by a wave of nostalgia, the extra-large leopard had decided to abandon his plans to head home and, instead, relive a childhood memory. He slowly lowered his swollen body down upon the incline, gently leaned back, and gazed up into the sky. He pictured in his mind Rob Cat and his niece Cora, looking up at the same stars through her telescope. He began to daydream about the stars, and the planets, and the constellations, and the universe, and the jungle, and his town... all spanning vast distances. "Ah, it's just like home... my original home," thought Siyahamba, as a warm summer breeze flowed around him. "Only I didn't have a bulging belly obscurring part of my vision of the heavens!" Subconsciously, he patted his abdominal protuberance, and thought, "But, I suppose, we all have to make sacrifices sometime." And with that, Siyahamba's eyes closed. He was home again... *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   * Story copyright 2000, 2001 by Jed G. Martinez 'Siyahamba' (C) Matthew Gabrielle 'Rob Cat' and 'Cora' (C) Jed G. Martinez